MuddyPuddles

As I examine the current landscape of the church situation in our town, I think it is time to set up some kind of memorial to commemorate the end of this battle.  At this point, I am not a part of PH any longer---nor is the former preacher and his family (or quite a few former members).  Other than moving a few more items and doing some clean up in the next few days they are pretty much off the “church” property.  It is my hope that they will receive the last month of pay that they were promised.  It seems like the right thing to do and I hope the Elders will see to it that it happens.  It would be a better end to this saga than if they don’t.  It would bring a little healing and closure.  It would be a wonderful reconciliatory gesture.  But that is out of my hands.

Since I am no longer a part of that church I will not try to influence, in any direct way, how things are done over there from this point forward (unless I see some specific thing they are doing which is damaging to those I love, but I don’t anticipate that will happen).  I ask God to bless them and direct their steps.  I will not write any more posts regarding what they are specifically doing or have done or what they apparently believe or practice (they may fall into the scope of something I say, but I will not be speaking of them specifically when I say it).  It is my hope that we can coexist in peace so that, hopefully, much good can be done in this community in the future.  As a whole, we’ve lost a lot of credibility and it’s going to be very difficult to gain any of it back for quite some time.     

Starting with this post, I will delete any negative comments that are made about either group.  I will leave comments that encourage, heal, support or uplift either group (I hope to see many of those comments come in from both sides).  I encourage each of us to proactively work toward good relations with one another.  I encourage us to proactively discourage any harmful talk or actions toward one another when we hear it from our friends.  (I hope we can say "I don't agree with them but they are my brothers and I will not speak evil of them.")  Let’s all work together to help the healing begin.  Hopefully, before long, we can sincerely greet one another kindly from the heart when we pass each other on the street.  Like opposing forces after the civil war, I hope that we can come to realize that we are all on the same side in the final analysis, and that we are united in the blood of Christ.  He died for all of us and we should all live for him to the best of our ability and understanding---even if we disagree somewhat about how that should be. 

God Bless each and every one of you as we all, together, lay down our arms and join one another in the army of peace.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephes. 6:12 (NIV) 
Let's each do what we can to make it happen here and now.

God Bless.

 

Dennis

One year ago, October 26, 2006, was a special day in the life of our family.  That is the day that my little grandson, JD, was born and died. 
When our daughter-in-law, Sara, was about 20 weeks along, the doctor noticed a little spot on the baby’s liver during a sonogram.  She suspected it was some small cyst or something like that.  She didn't think it was too much to worry about, but wanted to get a 3D Sonogram to be sure.  On the 3D it turned out to be worse than they expected. 
It turned out that the bladder was not draining the urine as it should.  Therefore the bladder was much larger than it should have been and the urine was backing up to the kidneys.  This seemed to have caused the kidneys to stop functioning.  They decided to drain the bladder with a needle and then repeat the procedure 3 days later to see if the kidneys would start functioning again.  The Dr gave them less than a 1% chance for things to work out but they wanted to give the baby every chance they could. 
The tests turned out successively worse so it looked like the kidneys had become permanently non-functional.  Also, since no amniotic fluid was below the bladder by the 18th week, the lungs had stopped developing and would not develop any more.  Therefore, the baby had no chance of survival after his birth.  So, at about the twenty-third week they decided to go ahead and induce labor.  We were going to lose this sweet baby.
On the 26^th, we felt like God was good to us.  We didn't have to wait long hours and or days before little JD was born.  He came at 8:21 in the morning.  Jeff got to hold him for a few brief moments of his life.  Later, when Sara woke up, she as well as Bonnie and I and Sara's Father and Mother and a "grandmother" figure to Sara got to each hold him for a little while.  He weighed 1 lb 10 oz and was 11 inches long. He was a cutie.  I still remember the feel of his soft and smooth little forehead against my neck as I held him and against my lips as I kissed him.  I locked in those moments so I wouldn’t forget them. 
We laid JD to rest after a brief graveside service a couple of days later.  Though it was so hard to let him go, we are so thankful that he came.  He truly was a gift from God.  And we feel like he’s always watching over us in love as we go about our lives.  Thank you, God, for this precious gift.  Sincerely,   Dennis

Just when I had about decided that there was going to be some peace between the two groups of “Christians” from the old PH Church, the leaders from the old church decided to do something drastic.  While the former preacher’s wife was at my house with a group of ladies for a Beth Moore Series Bible Study, three of the four remaining Elders went to Don’s house to hand deliver a handwritten letter (signed this time) telling him that they would not honor the 90 day commitment as was stated in his original contract (and signed by everyone).  Instead, they told him that he must be out of the house after 60 days (next week—Oct 31).
They would rather kick a man out on the street with his wife and three kids than to honor their contract for five more weeks.  Unbelievable.  What kind of people would do this?

The original contract said 90 days.  A few weeks ago, the Elders sent Don a certified letter (unsigned) telling him that they were only going to give him six weeks instead of the 90 days (12+ weeks).  Then one of the Elders assured him, repeatedly, that they were going to go ahead and honor the 90 days as stated in the contract.  Now they bring him the 60 day letter.  Imagine the roller coaster this has put this poor family through.  Why couldn’t they just let things work out in peace for these five remaining weeks?  Why?  We finally had peace.  My head is shaking in disbelief.  It makes no sense to me.  Are these men setting the example of love we read about in the scriptures?  Maybe it will become clearer in the days ahead, but right now it just seems like such an unnecessary agitation on their part.  Hopefully they will reconsider and reverse their course just one more time.    God Bless, Dennis      

We had another great service this morning and then we met to discuss a possible name for our new congregation.  We put twelve suggestions on the board and then narrowed it down to three finalists.  Next week we will meet once again to come to a consensus on one name.  I don't think it would be appropriate for me to list the names for you now, but I know that there are many of you out there who are pulling for us and praying for us and I just wanted to bring you up to date with our progress.  Keep praying for us.  Great things are taking shape in this place.  God Bless.  Dennis
PS  I like all three finalist names and am excited about our future.    

We’ve had really positive and uplifting services every Sunday morning in the "Library Church" (and positive meetings in our home study group on Sunday night).  We are now in the process of selecting a name for our group so that we can become “official” and get an “employee Identification Number” so that we can open up a bank account and start collecting money for good causes.
This name selecting process has been interesting in some ways.  We’ve been debating back and forth about whether we should have the name “ Church of Christ ” in the main title or whether it should be a part of the sub-title or whether to even have it in the name at all.  I can make a pretty good case for each of the three options. 

The case against using it in the main title (and to some degree in the sub-title) is that there is a lot of negative baggage out there in regard to that name.  There are some people out there who have basically vowed to never set foot inside a “ Church of Christ ” building again.  Most of these are people who have been treated very judgmentally in the past or have had some very negative associations with members of the “ Church of Christ ”.  I don't think everyone among us realizes how bad it has been in some cases. 
I even feel some of that baggage myself because of the way that some of my brethren have responded to me when I have questioned the long held beliefs that we've had and taught.  It really caught me by surprise when they reacted so negatively toward me.  Instead of just disagreeing and trying to convince me that I was wrong, some turned really mean and cold and really started trying to undermine my reputation and influence.  I just didn't expect it.  But it happened.  (I also feel a sense of connection with the name because of the good that I associate with my upbringing---the values I was taught, the need to study the Bible to find the truth, the loving of one another.  I have some great memories in the  Church of Christ .) 
So, part of me wants to go ahead and take on the name and then work to overcome that negative image that's out there.  Another part of me says why take on a name that has definite baggage when you could start fresh with a baggage-free name and reach people directly instead of over obstacles and objections?  I guess I could go either way and be okay with it.  I just hate that we have tainted that name to so many people in the world.  Some think of us as a cult.  It truly is an honorable name that has just been besmirched by our past pride and arrogance.
Bottom line, as far as preferences go, I would personally wish that we would only have the name in the subtitle (like “a church of Christ fellowship”).  What I predict is going to happen, however, is that the name will be in the main title.  (It appears that I’ve lost control over my church.)    I just think that too many people will be too uncomfortable with a name that doesn’t include “ church of Christ ” in the main title.  I do believe, however, that the “c” in “church” will be the lower case.  And that, itself, is significant and it’s good.
If you care to comment, I would be interested in your perspective about this whole name thing.  Have you experienced any baggage with the name?  Do you know anyone who has?  Please share (even if you are not a member of the "Church of Christ").  God Bless.  Dennis 

I was over at my in-laws house today and was shown a letter that someone had sent them.  It was actually a printout of my last post from the other day---“Marching Forward”.  I’m not sure who sent it because it had no return address and no one signed it.  It had a few words highlighted for some reason---words like “disaster” and “safe” and “Dennis”. 
I think this was probably intended to either “get me in trouble” with my in-laws or to upset them about my blog or something like that.  I don’t think it was meant to encourage them, because it, like the other similar anonymous letters they have received, was unsigned and there was no return address.  (Note: one day later, Sue received another similar letter with some ugly comments written at the bottom.)
My father-in-law is 80 years old.  My mother-in-law is a few years younger.  They are some of the most awesome and kind and caring people I have ever known.  They have always exhibited great faith and love and kindness.  They have both been great examples to me and I love them dearly.

I can’t imagine anyone who claims to be a Christian who would be so small as to deliberately do something that they believe would upset this wonderful Godly couple in any way.  Can you?  What kind of a spiritually deficient heart could be involved with this kind of action?  A misguided one for sure.

What’s kind of interesting about it is that my in-laws read my blog every day.  Though they don’t agree with everything I say, they agree with most of it.  Regarding the things about which we disagree, it doesn’t diminish the love they have and show for me at all.  And, we regularly discuss the topics from time to time.

If you are sending those letters, I hope you will look inside your heart to determine your motives.  If it is not you but you know who it is, I would recommend you talk to them about it.  I personally don’t think it represents the heart of a large group of people, but I guarantee that it doesn’t enhance the appearance of the group to which this person belongs either. 

Tell this person to put their 41 cents and their efforts toward a good cause.  Let’s have peace and good will between us.

God Bless,  Dennis     

I’m scheduled to attend a “Dynamic Marriage Facilitator-Training” Seminar in a few weeks.  I’ve heard really good things about this program and the impact it can have on marriages so I decided that it would be a good thing for me to delve into.  Not everyone who attends these training seminars is/are approved as facilitators, so I have no guarantees that I will become certified, but I’m going to give it a shot.  If it is Gods will, then it will happen. 

Part of the preliminary requirements to attending this training program is that I do some reading and some self-assessment type homework.  This self assessment has to do with my marriage to Bonnie and our relationship in our marriage.  Each spouse is supposed to fill out a questionnaire about how the other spouse is meeting their needs (or not).  (That’s a scary thought.)  Then, in the seminar I suppose, there will probably be some communication between spouses about those needs as well as the ranking of those needs by each spouse.  I’m sure that there will be some “communicating” going on.  (This is just my guess.)

What I’m trying to get to is the point that I have been so blessed to have Bonnie as my wife.  I knew that fact this morning when I woke up, but after breaking it down more completely in this written exercise this evening, I’ve been made more keenly aware of just how blessed I am to be her husband. 

What’s interesting about that to me is the fact that there was a significant span of years that I felt very frustrated with our marriage.  And, (I know it will be hard for all of you to believe, but) it wasn’t exactly a picnic for her either.  There were times that I really didn’t think our marriage would make it.  Thankfully, however, we somehow made it through those difficult times and got to those “just passably neutral” times.  And then we made it through those passably neutral times to these lovely and positive times of today.

There is peace and joy and love in our marriage.  I greatly enjoy my relationship with Bonnie.  I love our discussions about all types of things.  I appreciate her wisdom and insight.  I value her input.  And, I value her friendship.  God has been so good to me.  In short, I feel blessed---and I wanted to share it with you. 

But it’s not to brag or boast or gloat about our marriage.  And I want to make sure that you know that I don’t judge anyone else about their marriage---about how it has or has not worked out.  I know that each and every situation is different.  And I know that each and every relationship is different.  So I am in no position to make judgments about what has or has not gone on in any one’s marriage.  And I don’t think less of anyone who is divorced or separated.  I just don’t.  But I do humbly thank God for blessing me with this wonderful gift. 

And I hope that, if your marriage is struggling and it’s not so much fun and you kind of hate it, that you realize that it may not always be that way.  It is possible, in some cases, for there to be happier days ahead.  So, I want to encourage you in spite of your struggling marriage.  You just might get to that joyous time ahead.  And that is my wish for you.  I wish for each of you, my dear readers, nothing but wonderful fulfilling relationships in your life ahead.  May God Bless you richly in this manner.

Dennis     

Sunday morning after the “Library church” service, most of the group stayed around to have a meeting to assess where we are and where we want to go.  If you have been following our situation you know that for the past five or six weeks some of us have been meeting together to provide a safe place for anyone who wanted to come together and worship God. 
It was not to start a church.  It was not to teach anyone any lessons (in the negative sense) or to rebel.  It was just a “Red Cross” shelter after a disaster.  We did not want to make any rash decisions.  We wanted to give the dust some time to settle so that we could make any decisions based upon good judgment with emotions calm. 
The original plan was that we would meet for about a month and then assess the situation to see what we wanted to do from that point.  We didn’t know if we would want to meet for another month or to go back to our former church or what.

Well, it’s now been about six weeks and there were about 35 people that stayed for the meeting.  After hearing from everyone, there is a strong consensus that we are ready to move forward toward a permanent situation.  We decided that we are ready to set up a legal entity and to make our group “official”.  We are ready to move out of the disaster relief shelter and into a permanent and safe dwelling place (figuratively speaking).

Though several of our members worked hard at reconciliation with PH, they felt like there was very little movement, if any, in that direction.  They just didn’t see any “give” from the positions and attitudes that made us feel like leaving in the first place.
It is important to note that this decision is not a decision to move away from anything.  It is a decision to move toward something positive and stable and enduring. 
We wish our former church family well and hope things go well for them.  It is our hope that we can have positive feelings toward one another and that we can accomplish many positive things as we each press forward in this community. 
Our hope is that this can be much like Paul and Barnabas deciding to go separate ways on their second missionary journey (due to their dispute about John Mark) and that twice as much good can come as a result of it.

We want to get started with our new direction immediately, but we also want to move slowly and deliberately as we try to become as effective as possible in our endeavors ahead.  We ask for your prayers for us as we move forward. 

God Bless.

Dennis        

When Jeff was in Junior High school he was involved with a youth group that was preparing for LTC (Leadership Training for Christ).  That is a competition which involved about 3000 kids in about 50 events.  One of the events in which Jeff was competing was called “Public Speaking.”  This is where the participants would prepare a 3 minute speech and would deliver that speech before the judges.  I remember working with him on a speech that we called “Perspective.”   It dealt with how we look at things differently based upon our frame of reference or our background or the setting in which something takes place. 
As Jeff was practicing his speech I noticed that his concentration was based upon how he was delivering his message.  It was at this point that we had a short discussion about the purpose of his speech and how it appeared to me---the audience.  His concentration seemed to be on making sure he covered everything that he had written down.  It seemed to be on whether he was speaking loudly enough to be heard.  It was totally focused on the speech itself.  On the surface that sounds like a good idea.

In reality, that’s not what good speakers focus on.  Good speakers focus on what the audience is hearing.  Good speakers are focused on how the audience is being impacted and whether the message is getting across.  Good speakers know that it’s possible to finish everything they’ve written and to speak loudly enough so that no words are missed while having no effect whatsoever on the audience.  Good speakers know that if there is no impact on the listener, then everyone’s time has been wasted.  It’s all for naught.

That principle is true in many areas.  I see so much waste in our lives.  It’s not that we are not doing something.  It’s that what we are doing is having no impact whatsoever.  But we keep doing it anyway.  We go through motions because we have always gone through those motions whether it is really impacting anyone or not. 
I’ve heard criticism through the years about how many of the youth activities across our brotherhood (and other fellowships) are just entertainment for the youth.  I find myself in agreement with that assessment to some degree.    And, although entertainment is not always bad, if it’s the only thing they get, it fails our youth.  I think we’ve sometimes had the goal of trying to prove that you can be a Christian and still have fun---and I agree that it is a true statement---you can be a Christian and still have fun.  But if that is the only message they get, then we have failed our youth.  And the problem doesn’t stop with the youth.

Oftentimes we adults seem to think that we are dedicated and mission minded Christians if we go to church three times a week and put money in the plate to support missionaries.  And we seem to think that if we say the right things from our pulpits and from our classroom podiums, then we are sound in our doctrine.  And if we put cute little sayings and poems in our bulletins and in our sermons and in our correspondence to one another then we think we have Christian hearts.  We believe these things even when they have little or no actual measurable effect or impact on our own community. 
I’m sure some who read this will disagree with my assessment.  Think about this.  In the past year, how many people in your community, other than the ones who were already attending your church, have been measurably impacted for Christ?  You, individually, how many Bible studies have you conducted in the past year with an “outsider”?  I’m ashamed to say that I’ve only done a couple. 

Our focus has not been too much on the lost, I’m afraid.  Our focus has been mostly directed at defending our doctrinal positions and/or on trying to maintain or seize control of the direction of the future of the church.  We’ve focused mainly on what we are doing rather than on what it is accomplishing for Christ. 

It’s time to make a change.  It’s time to look outward to those who are lost and in need.  We need to go out to where they are instead of just asking or allowing them to come in to where we are.  And it’s important that we not look at them as just a “mission work” or a “project”, but that we look at them as people who have needs just like us.  We need to have relationship with them and to impact their lives with love.  We need to connect with them and become a part of them as they become a part of us. 

We should ask ourselves individually and collectively, “What is my personal mission and how is it impacting those around me?”  “What is our collective mission and is it really impacting anyone besides ourselves?”  “How can I make a difference in my world for Christ?”  
These are scary questions to ponder because they might cause us to expand our comfort zones.  They might make us do something radical.  They might cause us to make a difference in our world.  And that’s a good thing.  God Bless you as you look to make a difference. Dennis 

In August of 1973, Bonnie and I moved to Arlington where I began teaching history and Industrial Arts (shop) to eighth grade students in AISD.  After teaching for three years an opportunity opened up for me to try something else.  An Elder where I worshiped was a custom home builder in Arlington .  His business was rapidly growing and he thought it might be time to hire a field superintendent, so he made a proposal to me. 
His proposal would be that I would come to work for him for the summer on a trial basis.  At the end of the summer, if either one of us decided that it would not be a good fit, then I would go back to school and he would go back to managing his own construction.  But if we both liked the marriage, we would make it permanent.  That sounded like a good plan to me so we gave it a shot.  After three weeks we knew it was right so we made it “permanent”. 

Over the course of the next three years I supervised the construction of about one hundred homes.  It was a great learning experience which has impacted my life significantly since then.  In fact, that is where I learned most of what I know about all phases of construction.  I took advantage of the opportunity to continually ask the subcontractors why they did things the way they did.  I developed great relationships with them and they became my mentors.  It was wonderful.

Part of my job included taking care of any call back warranty service for the first year following the sale of the homes.  I didn’t particularly like this part of the job, but this responsibility helped me to become a better superintendent because it taught me some things to watch for during the original construction.  If you do things right the first time, it saves you a lot of work on the back end. 

Even though the people I was dealing with on this warranty work were the actual owners of the homes, in some ways I felt as if I were a landlord.  And this gave me half of an idea.  I got the other half of the idea from the fact that the house Bonnie and I had purchased shortly after moving to Arlington had increased about 15% per year for the first three years we lived in Arlington .  We had put five thousand dollars (borrowed from Dad) as a down payment when we purchased it and when we sold it three years later, we cleared fourteen thousand dollars. 

Being the ponderer and the analyzer that I am, I was thinking that if I had purchased five houses when I purchased that one, and if I had rented them out for the three years to cover the payments and expenses, then at the end of the three years I could have cleared forty-five thousand dollars instead of the nine thousand that I did.  Since I was only making eleven thousand per year at the time, forty-five thousand sounded like a small fortune.  So I decided to go for it---at least on a small scale of one rent house.  I figured that would be a good way to gage the feasibility of my plan. 

So, I bought and devoured every book I could find on rental property and I attended every seminar I could find.  I really wanted to learn.

Since I had no money (I had used all my cash as a down payment on another house for us), and I basically had no credit, I knew that I was going to have to be very creative to be able to purchase a rent house.  One really doesn’t have to have money if he has the right kind of knowledge and intestinal fortitude.  (I have actually experienced purchasing a house and putting money in my pocket that I got out of the purchase closing.  You can afford a lot of houses using that formula.) 

So I looked and looked and offered and offered and I finally purchased my first rent house.  It was scary to do that.  I kept thinking “What if I can’t make my payment?”  “What if the tenants tear up the house?”   All of these negative thoughts kept trying to get into my head, but I kept reviewing what I had learned and I decided to give it a try in spite of my fears. 

Sure enough, I made some mistakes with my purchase.  I paid too much for the house.  Because of the high interest rates (12-15%) of the day, the rent would not cover the note payment plus the taxes and insurance.  I should have bought an older house that would have cost quite a bit less but would have rented for only a little bit less.  Then I could have at least broken even each month on the cash flow.

In spite of these mistakes and others, I was able to survive.  And I was able to see without a doubt that if I did it better, I could make it work.  So, I set a goal that one year from that day I would own at least 10 rent houses.  At the time, that goal felt and sounded impossible to me.  It sounds the same as ten thousand houses do to me now.  It just seemed so unrealistic.  I had no money and was making less than a thousand dollars a month and Bonnie was staying home with the boys.  But I decided that this was what I wanted to set as my goal, so I started looking at houses.

I would call on newspaper ads every week.  I would call on realtors every week and spent a lot of time looking for “deals”.  Honestly, I felt like such a hypocrite.  I kept thinking to myself, “Who do you think you’re fooling?  You can’t do this.  You are just a scraping by worker with no money.”  I really didn’t think I could do it.  It just felt too big.

But instead of giving in and giving up, I employed my “what if” strategy.  I thought to myself (on a daily and sometimes hourly basis), “If you really thought you could do it (accomplish this goal of buying 10 houses in one year) what would you do next?”  Whatever the answer to that question was---I would do it.  Even while feeling like a total hypocrite, I would execute the next step.  It was such a horrible, uncomfortable feeling to make myself do it.  But I was willing to stretch my comfort zone rather than be guaranteed failure.

I would make ridiculous offers that would have the realtors shaking their heads.  One realtor told me, “You’re not going to find many sellers that will agree to those terms.”  I told her, “I just need one right now.”  And she would present the offer.  Most offers were rejected---most.  But then one came back that I could work with, so I counter offered.  Eventually we came to terms and I was able to purchase a second house.  It was scary to sign those papers, but I signed them anyway.  And now I had two. 

I continued on that way and eventually found a seven house package.  The seller was willing to carry the note so we worked out the deal.  That was a big one.  And I signed all those papers.  That made nine.  Then I found another house, worked out the negotiations and purchased it.  That made TEN.  Can you imagine how awesome I felt at the end of that year knowing that I had purchased ten rent houses?  It was incredible. 
The way that people looked at me had now changed.  The way that realtors looked at me had now changed.  The way that my friends looked at me had now changed.  And even the way that I looked at myself had changed.  I had credibility.  I had busted through the obstacles and self-doubts and fears and had accomplished my goals. 

I still made a lot of mistakes, but that was just a part of the journey.  I’m still making mistakes, and I will continue to make mistakes until the day I die.  But I didn’t make the biggest mistake of all.  And that mistake that I didn’t make was to let fear keep me from launching out toward a goal and a dream.  It’s like the old saying, “It is better for someone to try something and fail than it is for them to fail to try.”

I have purchased quite a few more houses since those early days.  I’ve also sold quite a few and have even lost a few through foreclosure (when the economy went into the tank during the 80s--- (that was grueling)).  But now, because of experience and knowledge about real estate and about life, and because of a much expanded comfort zone, not many things scare me as much as those early leaps of faith.  And because of my willingness to take those risks, my life has been much richer and fuller than it would have been had I stayed safe.  For that I’m thankful.

And now, my dear reader, I want to encourage you to dream a dream and to set a goal.  Do not let yourself give up easily on that goal but start taking baby steps toward that goal today.  Use that "as if" principal to move yourself forward.  Act "as if" you thought you could accomplish it.  And before you know it, you will.  Don't let this opportunity get away from you!  I mean it---for real.  Make it happen. 
May God bless you as you bravely move forward into the unknown.  I encourage you to not let fear be your deciding factor.  Trust in God and move ahead.  Sincerely,  Dennis