Shortcut
A few weeks ago my 4 year old grandson, Trapper, went to Chicken Express with me for some chicken tenders. After lunch we were planning to go fishing. Instead of traveling the main roads to go fishing, I needed to stop by a house in town to pick up something so I told Trapper that I needed to take a “shortcut.” He asked why I needed a “short hair cut” before we would go fishing. I told him I wasn’t getting a short haircut, I was taking a “shortcut”. I then tried to explain the concept of “shortcut”. I’m not sure he ever understood why I thought I needed a short hair cut and after awhile I decided my haircut was just fine so we skipped the haircut, stopped by the house and then went fishing.
So what is a shortcut, anyway. A shortcut is what the locals do that the visitors don’t (but will if they stick around long enough). It is the fastest or shortest way from point “A” to point “B”. It is the unofficial way that things are done (when the ultimate goal is to accomplish the most in the least amount of time with the least amount of effort). It is the unwritten rules. We all know the shortcuts in our own area of expertise. But there is one area that I’ve never seen explained. And that is the shortcut to becoming an Elder in the Church of Christ . I know, some people will be full of righteous indignation at the very thought of there being shortcuts to Eldership, but they are there. So, for young men who want to get there the fastest, pay attention. This works in every single Church of Christ in America ---bar none. I guarantee it.
First, get married and have two kids as soon as possible. Raise them in the Lord and baptize them at the proper time and in the proper way. Attend church three times a week (as well as Bible class). Be nice to everyone and ask them about whatever they are interested in and listen to their answers and ask follow up questions to show you really heard what they had to say. Dress nicely (your whole family). Do not make any controversial statements or ask any controversial questions. Listen for stock answers and memorize them. Pay attention to the general beliefs of those in your class or church and when you sense an opportunity to express a viewpoint that is widely held, state it with conviction---as if it was your original thought and as if you would defend that position against the most evil false teachers that might ever dare set foot in the door (have a serious look on your face and a serious tone in your voice during this process). For controversial questions or if the class is made up of people with widely varying opinions, don’t say anything. If you are specifically called on in this type of situation, just say something to the effect of “that’s a difficult question that we should spend a lot of time studying about and praying about. Our main focus should be on loving one another and if we just do that like God wants us to do it, we’ll all be a lot better off.” Another option is to say something like “generally we have held to the belief that . . .. I’m not saying that this is the required way to look at it, but that is what we have generally held to.” If you can’t remember all of that just say “let me pray and study about that” and then just be quiet or throw it back with “what do you think about it?” If you ever teach a class, be sure to memorize phrases like, “I think it means what it says,” or “we just need to love one another.” Only ask questions that can be answered with very simple phrases (which have been memorized by the classmates through years of attending adult Bible classes). Never disagree with any of the answers, just say, “that’s good” or “that’s exactly right” or “you may be right” or “you hit the nail on the head”. If you don’t agree with the answer, say “okay” and wait for another classmate to give their answer and then use one of those other replies. Or, repeat a slightly modified version of their answer which would swerve it into a more correct light. It sounds to them like you are agreeing with them when you are actually swerving them. Make a lot of general statements. If you get in a bind just say, “people need to be baptized for the remission of their sins” and you’ll be off the hook.
As far as outside work, you don’t have to really do anything extra. It doesn’t hurt you to do some, but it isn’t required as long as you are at church 3 times per week. Just be fairly respectable in your job and in your community.
That about does it. If you do these things you will be gladly welcomed into any Eldership at a very young age, relatively speaking. If you violate any of these practices---you know---challenge long held beliefs, think critically about the stock answers, dig into the word and even risk coming to different conclusions (unless you keep them to yourself), even if you are doing a lot of good works, then you are in danger of being rejected due to your “divisive nature”. So avoid those things at all costs. That my young friends, should you decide to take this mission, is the fast track to Eldership. God Bless. Dennis
P.S. Please Note: I'm not saying that these things will be good for your Spiritual growth or well being. Nor am I saying that these things create a conducive atmosphere for a vibrant relationship with your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ or Jehovah God. What I am saying, however, (for what it's worth) is that they will get you into the Eldership expeditiously.












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This is Dave Berkey.
Have you Facil
Well said Annie. Amen!
When I