Low Maintenance
I was talking with a friend this morning about our friendship. We haven’t talked in quite awhile but were pretty much able to pick up right where we left off. There was never an awkwardness between us. I told her that I appreciated our friendship for being the kind of friendship that was “low maintenance.” It isn’t the kind of friendship that requires a lot of eggshell walking to prevent hurt feelings or feelings of neglect.
It brings me such peace of mind to never doubt that she’s pulling for me (and vice versa) regardless of time and space between us. It occurred to me that I have many friends like that. Many of you who are reading this blog would fit into that category. And for your steadfast friendship I say “Thank You.” You are a blessing to me.
I’m also blessed with a family that is “low maintenance.” When Bonnie and I first married, Mom said for us to not worry if we couldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving or Christmas (and she meant it). She just wanted us to come if and when we could. She was sensitive to making sure we didn’t feel torn between our various family ties. With several brothers and sisters, who are all married, that has taken a lot of pressure off all of us. Each summer we plan family reunions without guilt for those who can’t make it. Each of us hates to ever miss it but we don’t worry about hurt feelings if we do. That’s awesome.
As a remodeling contractor in my earlier days, my father-in-law could have pretty much used me as slave labor when I came to visit. He chose not to. Instead, he went out of his way to make sure I was not burdened with an extra load of obligation. I’ve always appreciated him immensely for that kind consideration. He’s awesome and our relationship has always been very close as well as low maintenance.
When our boys were small we made sure to make big deals out of their birthdays and Christmas. But Bonnie and I have never required much from each other on those “official” occasions. We usually have given a card and a candy bar. And instead of the pressure to perform at those times, we have opted to either plan spring break trips together and/or surprise each other with heartfelt gifts at other—unexpected times. Those kinds of gifts have always meant more to me than the scheduled obligatory ones. (This is not a criticism of those who like to give or receive special gifts at official times—different strokes for different folks.) I just personally love the absence of pressure that comes from this low maintenance approach to gift giving and family.
Having said all of that I want to make sure that you know that at times of trials (which are sure to come to all of us) we each have had and/or will have high maintenance needs. And to those needs we will respond without hesitation. We will eagerly be there for each other through those hard times—family and friends. And the truth is that it will probably be more difficult for most of us, when the need arises, to accept the help for ourselves than it will for us to give the help to others. That’s just the way low maintenance people are—not wanting to be a bother or a burden.
So I just want to say to my wonderful friends and family, “Thank you for being so awesome. You make my life a joy.” May God Bless you as bountifully as you have blessed me. Sincerely, Dennis
