MuddyPuddles

I have an adopted brother, Jonathan, that many of you don’t know about.  I haven’t seen or spoken to him in quite a few years.  I don’t even know where he lives.  He has chosen to go his own way.  I was already in college when my family adopted him so I never really got to know him as well as my younger brothers and sisters did.  My parents had felt that God had blessed us so much that they wanted to share those blessings with another child who had not been so fortunate.  So, at the age of five, Jonathan came into our home.   Jonathan liked cats.  So, from somewhere, he was allowed to bring home a little white kitten.  As fate (or providence) would have it, that kitten probably saved the lives of all of my younger brothers and sisters. 
My dad was on the board of the telephone coop.  That was a rural program which enabled people who lived in the country to have telephone service.  The economics were not there for a regular business to be profitable in providing service to the spread out people in the country so people had to band together to make it happen if they wanted the service—thus the rural telephone cooperative.  The board had meetings about once a month or quarter, I think, and then once a year there would be a national meeting somewhere that the coop would pay the way for.  (I remember one year we went to Washington, D.C. as a part of that.) 
It just so happened that Dad and Mom were going to go to some kind of meeting or special event or luncheon late one Saturday morning and as they were backing out of the garage they ran over and killed Jonathan’s kitten.  What a bad way to start out the day.  Jonathan was crushed (not as badly as the kitten, but crushed, nonetheless).  My parents felt bad.  So, they asked Jace to take all the kids to the matinee movie in Clovis (about 20 miles away) to help take Jonathan’s mind off his loss.  So the kids loaded up in the other car and headed toward Clovis . 
Shortly after they left, the house exploded.  We are not sure if it was the water heater or if it was the pickup (parked in the garage), which had recently been converted to propane fuel or what, but whatever it was had created a violent explosion.  It blew down the brick wall on the opposite end of the house.  The house was burned to the ground in about 30 minutes.  It is not likely that anyone inside would have made it out.  It still makes me shudder to think about how close my family came to a major tragedy that day.  But, thank God—literally—tragedy was avoided. 

(That fire was a turning point in my family’s life.  It had actually been the second house fire within about a two or three year period.  The first one only partially destroyed our house and we rebuilt it afterwards.  With the second fire and the total destruction of every thing in the house, Dad thought that maybe God was telling him it was time to move on and to do something different (his allergies had been worsening every year).  Therefore, he purchased a mobile home to live in until the crops were in and then the family moved to Ruidoso NM where he began building houses.)

I’ve thought about the death of that kitten many times through the years and what might have been had it not died.  It seemed like a tragedy at the moment of the cat´s demise, but it was, in reality, a true blessing.  We often get frustrated about what we perceive to be setbacks or tragedies or obstacles in our lives.  Maybe we shouldn’t.  If we trust in God and we know that he loves us and wants the best for us, then maybe we can consider that he might be putting some of these things in our lives to protect us.  Maybe things don’t work out like we had planned because God has something better in mind for us.  In the past couple of years I can think of several things that didn’t work out like I wanted.  To those things I say “thank goodness” because even better things happened that couldn’t have if my original plan had worked.  Therefore I’ve adopted the mindset that God is in control.  He loves me.  He wants to bless me.  If I trust him and I give him the glory, I know he will bless me bountifully.  That’s just the way he is.  Having that mindset has taken a lot of stress out of my life.  That in itself has been a great blessing.  I encourage you to adopt that mindset as well, because I know he wants to bless you as well (and in deed has been blessing you).  May God Bless you this week as you give him the glory for all the many good things in your life.  Dennis

When my youngest son, Jarod, was in elementary school he was in the top of his class.  He was in all the top academic groups and the top behavior groups and he usually was the fastest kid on the daily playground footrace.  His friend, Cody, would win those races sometimes, but it was always one of those two.  He was such a competitor and an ideal student that one teacher told us that if she were to have another kid of her own that she would want him to be just like Jarod.  That was at school.  At home, he was usually a good kid, but sometimes—sometimes he needed to blow off the steam that had built up at school.  He was such an intense person that it had to come out somewhere and sometime.  So, I guess it was better for it to come out at home than at school.  I could identify with him because I was exactly the same way when I was a kid (except for the top of the class part and the running the fastest part).  I had my difficult moments at home, as well.  Several times I’ve heard my mom say that I wasn’t happy unless I had all my brothers and sisters crying.  That wasn’t true, however.  I wasn’t happy even then.  Therefore, I could relate to Jarod’s difficult side.

When he was somewhere around the second grade I remember one day when he was being difficult and I tried several times to persuade him to not be that way.  I threatened him multiple times to no avail.  (My dad used to warn me by saying that if I didn’t straighten up it would be “too wet to plow.”  I don’t know if Jarod would have understood that farming terminology threat or not but I probably used it anyway since that was what was used on me.  It didn’t really even make a lot of practical sense to me (I liked it when it was “too wet to plow”) but when dad said it I usually backed off just in case he meant something bad.)   Since nothing was working, I finally spanked Jarod and then I hugged him.  He cried for a little bit and then, after a few minutes, he went on his merry way.  He was like a different child.  He was happy.

It finally dawned on me that it was not easy for him to change his behavior, even if he hated being that way (as I did), without some event to give him an excuse to change.  The only way he could “save face” was if I “forced” him to change by spanking him.  Then, he didn’t have a choice but to change.  It didn’t even have to be a hard spanking.  He just needed an excuse.  With this new knowledge came the realization that I was not doing him any big favors by just continually warning him.  I realized that he was asking, without asking, for an excuse to modify his behavior.  Therefore, from that time forward I didn’t wait so long to spank him.  That way he could get back to his carefree life much more quickly. 

As adults, it is so hard for us to make changes when we are wrong.  We don’t even like to admit being wrong, much less making a change.  And those “events” that help facilitate changes don’t come around as easily and as often as they did when we were kids.  Instead we blame someone else for our shortcomings or our problems.  We harbor animosity in our hearts.  We stress out and lose sleep.  It takes a big person to recognize the need to change and to take the necessary steps.  It takes introspection and humility.  And, unfortunately, it seems the ones who need to change the most are the ones who are least likely to do so.  I have so much admiration for pure and open hearted people.  I hope I am one of those people.  It is my goal to be one.  I hope it is your goal too.  God Bless you as you take a look inside your heart this week.  Be the good parent and child.  Sincerely, Dennis       

One of the great advantages of growing up in or near a small town is the opportunity for almost anyone to play at least one if not several sports during his/her school career.  Looking back, I know that so much of what I am today and how I see myself was shaped by my involvement in the athletic programs at my school.  As I think about the many mental snapshots that come to mind, one of my favorites was truly a defining moment in my life.  I’ve never shared it with anyone in my life—until now. 

Though I was pretty small, one of the positions I played on the football team was “wide receiver” (we used to call it “split end”).  I probably only caught about 8 or 10 passes (or less) in my senior year but I remember several of them very vividly.  The first one I caught was when I was coming over the middle and the ball just happened to hit me on the hip and stopped.  I draped my arm around it and drew it in.  After a few steps a defender grabbed me and pulled me down.  As soon as I got to the ground, an unmistakable revelation (not miraculous or Spiritual) popped into my head.  A reality light bulb came on.  It was a defining moment.  I realized, clearly, instantly, undeniably that I could have gained another yard or another foot or at least another inch before going down.  I didn’t have to stop at that precise spot.  I could have made it farther.  I went down because, in my mind, I had been tackled and so on my way down I quit fighting for progress.  No one else on earth knew that what had just happened was a turning point for me and for my life.  To all observers, it looked like just another play.  But in that instant I made up my mind that I would never stop fighting before I was down again.  I was not going to make it easy for anyone who was trying to prevent me from reaching my goal. 

I stayed true to my commitment.  I remember two specific times after that when I had the ball and was running down the field.  I juked the tacklers so they were unable to get a direct hit on me but they grabbed me and hung on to my back as I just kept pulling with every ounce of strength I had.  I felt like buckling, but, for awhile longer, in spite of being on the verge of collapsing, I was able to keep driving forward.  Those plays seemed to go in slow motion as players from both teams joined the struggle – some pulling and some pushing.  It was awesome.  I treasure that memory.     That became who I was and how I saw myself.  And because of it I know I had an impact on my team mates and others who were watching.  About 10 years after graduation, a classmate of mine said that watching my determination had been an inspiration to him.  Hearing him say that made my day (and week and month, etc.).

Since then I occasionally feel a temptation to give up on something.  And I see others give up on their dreams or cave in when sensing a struggle or hard times.  But the reality (the real reality) is that we can all do so much more than we realize and we can all endure so much more than we ever believed possible.  It’s just a matter of not stopping the push forward.  We can complete the longest race if we never stop taking just one more step and then another.  And not only does that help us complete the race, it inspires others to keep going when their times are tough as well.  May God Bless you take that next step and as you accomplish all you can, to his glory.  Don’t go down without fighting to the end.  God Bless.  Dennis

The other day a friend of mine told me her father-in-law was going to a small city about 70 miles from here so that he could have a quadruple bypass surgery.  Later, in our small town newspaper, she reported that the surgery went well.  She also relayed the fact that this was the first time he has been out of this county in 28 years.  Wow!  I think I would go crazy if I had to stay in this (or any other) county for 28 years without ever leaving.  Travel has had such a major impact on my life in so many ways.  Believe it or not, even my hair style has been affected by travel. 

About 10 years ago I was in Spain for 10 days exploring the possibilities of helping my friend, Chris, establish a business there.  We stayed in an ancient walled city called Toledo .  It was about two miles distance around the outside of the walls so it was a great place to jog and take in the sights and the atmosphere.  Andres, an associate of Chris’ (and my new Spanish friend) happened to be, among other things, the cultural director of Toledo .  He invited Chris and me to accompany him and his wife, Loisa, to an “invitation only” fashion show one evening.  We had great seats on the second row beside the runway.  It was awesome!  I never thought I would have enjoyed the experience as much as I did (and still do).  And never did I expect that it would actually cause me to make a change in my own life, but it did.  While at that fashion show in that ancient city in the middle of the Country of Spain, I decided that I wanted to change my hair style.  So the next day, instead of going with the “dry look” as was my custom, I started putting gel on my hair and trying to make it look like I had seen on some of the models in the show.

It was easier said than done.  I didn’t have the technique down at first.  When I got home, my wife - not knowing in advance about my transformation - asked me, “Did you make your hair look that way on purpose?”  The truth was that it looked pretty bad.   I had not yet figured out how to get the look I wanted and I knew it.  I could envision it in my mind, but that’s about as far as it went.  I was willing, however, to go through the “looking silly” stage to get to the final destination.  It’s uncomfortable to do that, but so was being born and I made it through that okay.  If we let our comfort be the primary decision-making factor in our lives we’ll never make it to the top of the mountain—and that’s where I want to be.  Nor will we ever accomplish anything significant.  We will just trickle down the ravine, being bounced around by every rock and tree and stick, until we wind up in the ocean of mediocrity.  I’m not saying that ease or comfort should be left out of the equation.  But I have come to believe that what we should decide first is “What is right?” or “What is best?” or “Where do I want to be?”  Then (and only then) should we look for the least troublesome way to get there.  So many people I know spend so much of their time and effort avoiding the difficult or the uncomfortable that they seldom make, much less reach, any lofty goals.  As for me, I hope I NEVER, because of the fear of criticism, allow myself to be less than what I want to be.  I hope I NEVER, because I don’t know how to do something or because something is hard, let my growth be stifled.  I hope I NEVER stop “living to live” (as opposed to “living to not die”).  I hope I NEVER get so entrenched in the past that I’m unwilling to move forward.  And I hope that YOU, dear reader, don’t either.  God Bless you this week as you do what is right, regardless of the consequences, and strive to make progress in your life.  Dennis

Our Elders, who all seem to be really honorable men, would allow more rapid change if a very large majority of the congregation was pushing for it.  But they don’t seem to have the desire or the will to initiate the changes, especially if they think the vocal minority will strenuously object.

The silent majority is not crying out for changes in a vocal manner.  But they are crying out in other ways.  Since their needs are not being met, they just come to church less and less.  They engage in church activities less and less.  They just invite friends less and less.   When they do come it is often out of a sense of “ought to” rather than “want to”.  It is not a place for which my soul longed.

So, as the reality soaked in to my brain about the mindset and mentality of this congregation, I realized that I needed to escape for awhile.  It is not a rebellion.  I just need some space.  I don’t feel spiritually downtrodden.  In fact to a large degree my soul feels unburdened.  I am now free to go and worship somewhere where I’m inspired by the worship service.  I’m freed up from the “naysayers” who have their brakes engaged as part of their lifestyle.  I’m freeeeeee!!!

Footnote:  I know that I could have and should have done more on a personal level to help set up programs or environments which would have more fully met the needs of those around me.  The Elders would have allowed it.  So I know that I was part of the problem.  Some of the mud I’m slinging has landed on me.  

BTW, after visiting with one Elder for quite awhile after turning in my letter of resignation, I did agree to be a DINO (deacon in name only).  I didn’t want too but he seemed to appreciate my willingness to do so.  They are in the process of trying to add Elders and Deacons and it’s probably better if it is not announced from the pulpit that I resigned at the beginning of this process, so I guess I’m okay with it for now.  More later!